When I Look At You
by Gina Moriarty
Summary: ...I Know What Love Is. One-Shot fluff fic, not much angst, AU-ish. A story of Remus and Sirius and how their relationship is more than meets the eye. RL/SB


Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah... They all belong to JKR. Except Melanie Jinnings. She's MINE!

**When I Look At You…**

…**I Know What Love Is.**

A young boy of about 15 sat at a round desk in the middle of the Gryffindor Common Room, trying to concentrate on his book, but his task was proving difficult when just across the table and on the opposite sofa sat a vision of heaven. The studious sandy-haired boy sighed, shutting his book, and rubbed his amber eyes. This boy was Remus Lupin, the resident werewolf of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and the vision on the other chair was none other than Sirius Black.

Sirius' grey eyes flickered upwards as he heard the sound of the book closing. Remus caught those stormy eyes with his own, and nearly drowned in the silvery pools there. Sirius looked at Remus, seemingly concerned.

"Moony? You all right?" he asked. Remus, afraid he'd been caught, flushed but nodded. Sirius broke into a smile, melting Remus' heart. The raven-haired grey-eyed boy had captured the werewolf's heart almost as soon as they'd met, and even more so when Remus had seen Sirius' canine form.

As he came back to earth, Remus saw a hand waving around in front of his eyes, and Sirius' voice saying "Hello? Earth to Moony. Come in, Moony." Remus blinked a few times, and pushed Sirius' hand away.

"I'm fine, Padfoot," said Remus. He only wished it was true. It was two days from the full moon, and he had the worst heartache ever. Heartache? Remus Lupin? No! I'm afraid it's true – his heart yearned for Sirius, even though he had a girlfriend. Said girlfriend, Melanie Jinnings, arrived at exactly that point.

She had blonde hair, baby blue eyes, and a lot of make-up on. Sirius turned around at her call, broke into a grin, and went to greet her in a way that made Remus feel sick, both physically and emotionally. Gulping quietly to keep the tears away, Remus gathered his textbooks and fled up the stairs to his dorm.

As he reached his dorm door, he collected himself, as he guessed that his other two best friends, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew, were already there. He opened the door as coolly and calmly as possible, and saw that his guess was right: Peter was laying on his stomach, brow creased in concentration, staring at the book and blank parchment in front of him with a quill in hand; James was hidden behind his curtains, probably concocting a plot for a prank or a plan to get same-year Gryffindor Lily Evans to like him.

Peter looked up from his book as Remus closed the door.

"Hey, Moony," he said quietly, as if scared to disrupt James' plotting. "Could you help me with my Transfiguration essay? I don't really understand it."

"Sure," said Remus, glad for something else to think about for a while. He dumped his own books on his bed, and sat with Peter to help him.

* * *

Sirius spent most of the evening with Melanie, mainly pretending to listen to her monologue about the latest gossip, but something else occupied his mind: where was Remus? He had been there when Melanie had arrived, but after greeting her with a passionate (though sloppy from her) kiss he had disappeared. After making all the right noises for an hour or so, Sirius made an excuse that he "needed to be up early for Quidditch practice tomorrow" and fled up to the dorm.

When he arrived, he saw Peter doodling on some spare parchment, James pacing around his bed muttering to himself, and Remus (predictably) reading a book. After considering his options, Sirius decided to approach Remus. He sat on the end of the werewolf's bed, put on his innocent face, and stole the book from Remus' hands.

"Hey! I was – " started Remus, but Sirius put his hand on Remus' lips. Inside, Sirius wrestled with the want to do more with his friend, but the reasonable side won. Taking his hand from Remus' mouth, Sirius studied the book that was now in his hands. It was _The Lord of the Rings Trilogy_, in one single book.

"Wow," he said. "What's this about?" Remus looked surprised at Sirius' question. Sirius understood, as he never usually took notice of Remus' reads. However, this time was different, because Sirius wanted to become closer to his sandy-haired friend, both friendship-wise and relationship-wise. Sure, Melanie was good-looking, but she didn't have the brains and personality that Remus had.

As Remus explained the brief outline – which was apparently very long – Sirius half-listened, and studied his best friend. He noticed that Remus had a golden complexion that seemed to make him glow softly in the dormitory light. His amber eyes sparkled as he talked about his favourite book, and his lips moved with such grace that Sirius was thoroughly tempted to lean in and kiss them.

Mentally, he shook his head and scolded himself for thinking as such. Yes, he wanted to kiss him – along with some other stuff – he knew that Remus would reject him, and that James would tease him about it for years to come. Peter would be the only one who would understand a little. Suddenly he noticed that Remus was looking at him oddly, and Sirius realised that he had finished talking.

"Interesting," he said, looking thoughtful. He knew the basic storyline any way, but Remus didn't know that, and Sirius only wanted to enquire him about it so that he could stare at him in awe without being asked why. Getting up, Sirius absently took the book with him to his bed. He threw himself down onto said bed, and drew the curtains as it was getting late.

After lighting his wand, he opened the book to the start of the story. Soon, with some surprise after, he became immersed into the novel.

* * *

Remus stared at Sirius' drawn curtains. Hastily drawing his own, he placed his fingers on his lips, remembering and savouring the feel of Sirius' hand against his mouth. He had shuddered then, and he did so again, remembering. He couldn't believe that he could have fallen for his best friend.

After what seemed to him a long time, Remus heard the drawing of James' and Peter's curtains. A series of good nights were issued around, except Sirius' voice was missing. Bewildered, Remus shrugged it off, and slipped deeper into his warm bed. Resting his head on his pillow, he fell into dreams of Sirius.

* * *

Late into the night, Sirius was still awake, and still immersed in the book he had taken from Remus. He was still on the first volume, _The Fellowship of the Ring_, when he heard a soft whimper. Assuming that it was only Peter, he continued reading. However, when the whimpering started again, he dragged his attention from his book.

Peering past his curtain and past Peter's, he saw that the rat-Animagus was fast asleep and dreaming peacefully. James' bed, too, was silent. Padding out on quiet feet, Sirius approached Remus' bed. From within, he heard another whimper, louder than the last. Taken aback, Sirius gently pulled back the curtain, and his eyes came upon a sleeping Remus.

Usually, the utterly calm features on Remus' face would have entranced him, but this time, they were different. Remus was lying on his back, his hands clutching at the duvet over him as if it was his salvation. His face was frozen in a mixture of worry, fear and pain.

Unsure of what to do, Sirius stood there staring in concern at the younger boy. Eventually, after what seemed like years, Sirius reached over and shook Remus' shoulder gently, trying to wake him.

The sudden touch seemed to get through to Remus, as his amber eyes shot open and stared in shock and thankfulness at Sirius. Letting go of the sheet, Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius' waist, pulling him onto the bed with him. Sirius returned the embrace, hoping it would never end, as Remus rested his head on Sirius' bare chest.

It could have been an hour, a day, a week, a month or even a year that passed before either of them spoke.

"Was it a nightmare?" asked Sirius, quietly with concern. Remus nodded, his soft cheek brushing against Sirius' chest. Experimentally, Sirius hugged Remus closer, and was rewarded with the young boy crawling into his lap like a little cub. Soothing Remus with his presence, Sirius went in for the plunge and said, "What was it?"

He could feel Remus tense against him, unwilling to talk about it. But an encouraging squeeze from Sirius brought the words from his mouth.

"It was the full moon," he stuttered, choosing his words carefully. "And I was the wolf, but I went crazy. I went after the three of you while you were changing into your Animagus forms. I ate Wormtail first, he was the smallest, then I hunted Prongs down. Then, I turned to you. As you had been last you were ready when I pounced. We fought, until I was standing over you. I was ready to bite you when you woke me up." He sniffed, apparently keeping tears back. "Thank you."

Sirius, happy to have the one he truly loved in his arms without being pushed away or questioned, muttered a "You're welcome," and lent his cheek on Remus' head, rubbing the werewolf's back soothingly.

* * *

As Sirius rubbed his back, Remus quivered with suppressed excitement. His heart thumped so much in his chest that he swore that Sirius could hear it, and it beat all the faster as Sirius lent on Remus comfortingly. Instinctively, Remus snuggled closer to the warm skin of Sirius.

He knew it should be wrong to feel this way about his best friend, but it didn't; it felt right. After a while, Remus couldn't tell how long, he calmed down, living only to hear the heartbeat of Sirius. Unexpectedly, Sirius shifted, and started to leave Remus to go back to sleep.

"Goodnight, Remus," he said as he stood up. Remus, a little panicky, grabbed Sirius' arm, causing him to turn around to face him. Remus could feel a blush coming on, and was glad that it was dark in the dorm.

"Stay with me?" he asked shyly. Sirius stared at him, apparently thinking it over. Coming to a conclusion, Sirius sat back down next to Remus, taking him in his arms again. Together, they slid under the covers, and Remus felt content, a smile on his face.

As Remus lay on the verge of sleep, he felt the warmth beside him shift, and something brushed against his cheek. His heart skipped a beat, wondering if what he thought had happened did just happen. Then, he felt the pressure again; only it lingered longer than the last time.

As Sirius' lips left Remus' cheek, his face blossomed into a childlike smile, and he fell asleep with no more nightmares.

* * *

The next morning, James was kicking at Peter's snoring body after having to roll his friend onto the floor. It was a good thing it was a Saturday, James reflected, as they would have been late for class by now. James swapped techniques, bending over Peter and holding his nose shut.

Peter came awake almost instantly, flailing his arms about and eyes wide. James let go the second he saw Peter open his eyes. He gave a wheezing cough, and James gently patted his back to help him get it out. Peter rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and stood up as James went to wake Sirius up.

"Come on, Pads, time to – " he stopped talking as he drew the curtains. All that lay on Sirius' bed was the book he had taken from Remus.

"What's up?" asked Peter, as he extracted his desired clothing for the day. James, however, did not answer, going instead to Remus' bed. He shoved the hanging curtains back, and looked down at the sight before him with a mixture of relief, puzzlement, and exasperation.

There was Remus, of course, curled into a tight little ball as he usually did. What was not normally there was Sirius' presence. Sirius was curled around the back of Remus, his arm laid over Remus protectively. Rolling his eyes, James returned the curtains to their original position, got dressed quickly, and left with Peter to get some breakfast.

"So? Was he there?" asked Peter as they walked to the Great Hall.

"Yes, he was," replied James. "But tell no one, Padfoot'd never forgive me."

"All right," promised Peter, and they said no more on the matter.

* * *

Remus woke up, and was aware of several facts.

First, the sun was shining high outside, which in itself was odd as he hardly ever slept late, even on a weekend. Secondly, there was a warm and comfortable presence behind him, with an arm laid over him. Lastly, said presence was also waking up. Remus rubbed his eyes, and started to sit up. Still laying on the bed, but now stretching, was a half-naked Sirius, and Remus felt a blush start to colour his face.

"Hey," he said quietly, causing Sirius to open his eyes. He looked up at Remus, then all around him in bewilderment, before memory kicked in.

"Oh, right," he murmured. "Nightmare." He sat up, yawning, and clambered out of bed, as if he spent every night there. Remus carefully averted his eyes, as Sirius got changed, not wanting his friend to see him staring, and got dressed himself. By the time Remus was finished, Sirius was sitting on his bed, reading Remus' book.

"What do you think of it?" asked Remus, peering over the top of the page to see where Sirius had read up to.

"It's a really good book," replied Sirius, taking his eyes from the page to look at Remus'. "Shall we go for breakfast?" Remus nodded, and Sirius put the book back on his bed before walking to the Great Hall with Remus.

* * *

When Remus and Sirius reached the Gryffindor table, Sirius took his usual seat next to James, and chatted about what they could do for their latest prank. Remus sat down next to Peter, who was eating his porridge as quick as he could.

"What's the rush about, Peter?" asked Remus, taking a few sides of bacon and some sausages.

"Professor Lin said I could go and help out with the new Salamanders today," said Peter between mouthfuls. He finished quickly, and left the other three. Remus turned around, and noticed that James and Sirius had already left, probably turning the wheels in their newest prank. Sighing, and having no wish to be involved at all, Remus ate his breakfast in silence.

Half an hour later, Remus made his way back to his dorm, wanting to finish off his Potions homework so that he would be able to have a free day before the change of the wolf took place. Sitting down on his bed, he almost didn't notice the other sitting on another bed.

Looking up, after finishing the essay, he saw that it was none other than Sirius Black.

"Good," said Sirius. "You finally noticed me." Remus sighed in exasperation.

"I thought you and Prongs were planning another prank," replied Remus. Sirius shrugged.

"We were," he said. "But I don't come into the equation until later. Don't worry," he added, seeing Remus' sceptical look, "you're not involved. At all." Remus, however, doubted this.

* * *

The next day, Remus felt tired and withdrawn, which was usual for him as it was the 24 hours before he became the wolf. Sirius, unusually, was by his side all throughout the day. The school Nurse, Madame Anixia, checked in on him constantly, leaving hardly any time alone for Remus.

It was almost a relief when the time came for Remus to be escorted to the Whomping Willow.

"There you go," said Madame Anixia, freezing the Willow so that Remus could quickly clamber into the passage there. "I'll be back to check on you in the morning." She smiled comfortingly at him before she left.

Remus breathed a sigh of relief, but a new fear took its place in his heart. The other Marauders had promised to be there with him during the night, but how could they get into the Shrieking Shack unnoticed?

He didn't have to worry, though. Almost as soon as he scrambled out of the passage into the broken house, he saw three different animals: a proud, magnificent stag; a small, rather fat, grey rat; and a large, furry black dog. Remus smiled until he felt as if his face would split in two, and he stayed in that position until the moon rose.

* * *

Prongs and Wormtail couldn't look as Remus' expression turned from one of joy to a grimace of pain. Padfoot, on the other paw, forced himself to watch as Remus' bones cracked, muscles stretched, and organs shift. If he had to get used to watching it, thought Padfoot, it had best be now. Padfoot's nose twitched, as he caught the scent of pain and fear from the werewolf.

Soon, a young tawny wolf lay on the floor, panting with exhaustion. Slowly, the wolf pawed its way to its feet and stared at the animals. Growling, the wolf started forward. Padfoot, knowing that it Prongs and Wormtail were in danger, stood in Moony's way.

Get out the way, said Moony in animal speak, which was vague but one could generally understand. They are my prey.

They are not your prey, said Padfoot in defence. They are friends and helpers. The wolf-Moony looked confused, but tried to attack the rat and stag. Padfoot, expecting this, jumped up at the same time and met Moony head on. Prongs and Wormtail looked on in surprise and worry.

However, they needn't have worried, as Padfoot soon had Moony in a submissive position.

All right, said the wolf. You win. They are not prey. Padfoot nodded in satisfaction.

The rest of the night passed in a happy blur, as wolf and dog ran all over the house, playing games and howling with joy, while the rat stood atop the stag's head, watching over them.

Late that night, or early the next morning, Prongs was sleeping peacefully with Wormtail curled up against his side and the Invisibility cloak over them. Padfoot and Moony were walking around the Shrieking Shack in silence, their energy spent.

As the moon sank beyond the horizon, they were in the Shack's bedroom and Moony started convulsing. After a few half-howls half-screams, a naked Remus lay on the floor breathlessly. Padfoot immediately turned back to his former self, and helped Remus stand up.

"Moony!" he said, keeping his friend upright. "Are you okay?" Remus held his hand against his head and groaned.

"Ugh…" he moaned. "What happened?" He looked down at himself, and at his surroundings. "Oh right, full moon." A few moments passed before Remus realised who was holding him.

"Padfoot!" he yelled in shock. "What're you doing here? I could have bitten you…" But his memory seemed to kick in. "But I didn't… You were the dog.." His face lit up. "You're an Animagus!"

Sirius nodded, and helped Remus onto the bed, covering him with the blanket.

"Yeah, we all are," he replied, smiling. "We had a fun night. By the way, Moony, Melanie and I broke up. She said I was concentrating too much on Quidditch and not enough on her." He grinned. "But that wasn't the real reason."

"What was?" Remus asked, his curiosity getting the better of him. Sirius brought his mouth close to Remus' ear, and whispered five words.

"I love _you_, Remus Lupin."

* * *

('Tis the Author again!) Whew. That took a few days. But I hope you like it after all the effort I put into it to get it finished before I had to do school stuff. Pleh. Anyway, constructive criticism would be helpful, so that I can improve my stories for you to read and enjoy.

'Til next time!


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